


I brought my sunglasses (what is this nonsense?)

by grandmas_ghost (nap_princess)



Series: Lolu but also not really [1]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, F/M, Modern AU, University AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 04:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14762402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nap_princess/pseuds/grandmas_ghost
Summary: He puts on a pair of rose coloured sunglasses and she walks away– Lolu if you squint with Nalu mentioned in the background, modern angst AU, Loke-centric





	I brought my sunglasses (what is this nonsense?)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [42](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/383888) by Primary feat Sam Kim and eSNa. 



** I brought my sunglasses (what is this nonsense?) **

* * *

 

* * *

Lucy gifts Loke with a pair of – purple? rose-coloured? It's arguable – sunglasses a month into their friendship (if you can even call it that because Loke's been having this thing for Lucy ever since he's laid his eyes on her).

They don't even know each other that well. After all, they're just a bunch of first years living in the same building on campus. Everyone in the FAIRY TAIL accommodation is new and Loke's birthday is just conveniently in October where everyone's still getting used to each other.

The blonde could have given him a birthday card for all Loke cared but she didn't.

"I thought it suited you." Lucy says to Loke.

He smiles at her and promises to wear it whenever the sun is being a bitch to his eyes – it's just coincidentally every single _fucking_ day.

* * *

He likes her in general but he likes her better after a few bottles of alcohol. Where she takes pity on him. Where she smoothens his ginger hair down. Where she gives him hugs that are so so _so_ reserved for only good friends and he is not a good friend by _any means_.

(Because, you know, he has a thing for her and it's so obvious and they've been hanging out more and more. It's been three months since university life has started)

Lucy Heartfilia smells soft. Is it possible for someone to smell soft? She doesn't have a scent like strong perfume or clean shampoo. Not really a flowery smell that drives boys gaagaa. It's just there and Loke likes it.

* * *

The blonde burst into Loke's room one day (which is just down the hall from hers), she spots him sitting crossed leg on the ground, building a miniature house for his Architecture project. She almost steps on a toothpick when she excitedly stomps over to him and tells Loke she just asked Natsu out and he said 'yes' with loads of exclamation points.

Lucy starts going off about what she thinks is so _cute_ about Natsu. His laugh for one; Natsu's laugh. It's loud and it rattles his ribs. And –

" _Wow_ ," Lucy says to Loke in a love-struck voice, "Is it possible to love a laugh?"

* * *

They broke up – Natsu and Lucy. And now Lucy's crying her eyes out in her room while Loke pats his crush's back. Honestly, Loke is trying to be a good friend about it but he feels like rubbish.

"What do I do?" Lucy asks, eyes leaking like a faucet.

"I – I don't know," Loke stammers and feels even more terrible. He thinks he's such a shitty friend, what kind of person answers such a sensitive question like that?

He opens her mouth again to tell Lucy some advice. Something along the lines of 'It's okay, cry it out,' but Lucy beats him to the punch.

Lucy sniffs back a sob and dries her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt. She says, "No, he doesn't deserve my tears. I'm not going to cry because of him."

And suddenly Loke doesn't feel like he's the right person to talk to about Natsu (or boys in general) because he almost told Lucy to do the exact opposite.

...

"You know what? Who needs a boyfriend? I don't need that. I can be happy by myself. It gives me more me-time anyways. I can concentrate better on my studies." Lucy says and doesn't even try to hide her disappointment. But Loke thinks she needs to though. He thinks she needs to learn how to hide it or else he'll feel awfully bad about it. He'll never be satisfied with that tone.

He **needs** – or rather wants – her to fake it better.

"I'm staying single until we graduate." She declares.

Lucy ends up calling over their closes friends that night to drink away their stress. Young adults never pass up the option to forget their worries and deadlines for the night. Fuck university, right?

* * *

"You confessed to Lucy after she and Natsu broke up, remember? The night we drank and you tried some of Levy's wine and mixed it with Gajeel's vodka." Gray reminds Loke of the memory that was ages ages ages ago after that sad night.

They're in Gray's room studying for their Architecture exam. The one written test their hectic first year life will ever sit down for. Loke's purple sunglasses cover the real look in his eyes.

Loke wants it to be a scene where Gray goes "Yo, man, didn't you know?" and he wants to laugh with humour and say, "Shit, son, really?" But he doesn't. He _doesn't_. Because his heart fucking  betrays him and he starts crying.

Crying so hard that it's the only noise filling the small room. All leaky eyes and shaky shoulders and – he can't breathe. Stupid heart, stupid feelings, stupid tears.

Stupid, _stupid_ , **stupid** – He pushes up his sunglasses and wipes the tears around his face.

Gray doesn't say anything in return and Loke blames his break-down on exam stress. No one talks about it or brings it up.

.

.

.

Lucy told him he was nice, isn't that kind? Isn't that **enough**? Because at first, he didn't get it. He just felt prideful for being called nice because he liked being nice to people and he liked people treating him nicely in return. He liked good things.

So it didn't click to him because he's never confessed before and so he's never been rejected before. He's had many girls confessed to him though and now Loke wonders how those girls managed to muster up so much bravery because he had to resort to liquid courage to tell her.

Lucy didn't even say "Sorry, I don't feel the same", just a "You're so nice, Loke."

And he remembers smiling at her and he remembers her returning his grin. Oh – they were exchanging smiles but for the wrong reasons.

His because he liked being nice and hers because she was glad he took it well. But he didn't, because it got lost in translation and he only got it when Gray told him.

But it's five months too late to throw a tantrum. He's been so nice to her so far, treating her just like how he always has. Like a normal person, with respect. He's so dumb, why did he open that mouth of his?

.

.

.

"You're so nice, Loke."

"– so nice, Loke."

"– nice, Loke."

"– Loke,"

Her voice throbs and pulses in his head, it reminds him of a broken record stuck on repeat, calling his name again and again.

* * *

"I –"

"No."

"But –"

"Don't," Lucy warns him. She knows what he's going to say and she doesn't want to hear it.

They're sitting at one of the eateries on campus, ignoring the food that she's ordered. It's supposed to be a meal for a family for six but Lucy didn't care when she ordered it. She said she would take-away the remainder of it. Probably for Natsu. They got back together after months of breaking their relationship off and, _oh God_ , she's feeding him.

Loke swallows a lump in his throat. A little girl sitting in a corner booth weeps softly, it makes him feel bad. He hates it when parents bring their young kids to visit their older siblings at university.

The ginger wants to ask 'Why?' but can't do it. Not when Lucy's looking at him like that. She's pleading.

"Okay," He replies. And he doesn't speak a word about it. He doesn't say it again.

* * *

"I bet there are loads of other girls who would love you," She says with confidence but the look in her eyes looked so sad, and tired. _So very tired_. She's tired of **him**.

He answers, "I – I guess,"

He kicks himself for stammering.

.

.

.

 He goes out with a shy girl name Aries a week later. Loke isn't sure if she's a rebound. She's so sweet … but she's not Lucy.

* * *

**end**

**Author's Note:**

> I **want** to remember her  
>  – 19 September 2017


End file.
